Today was the last day I worked at this place. What I'm going to miss are the children and also knowing that I have a job to go to in the morning.
My kids and I are going to have the whole summer to ourselves.
30 May 2007
15 May 2007
About this job
I've come to learn realize that I do enjoy working with children of this age. I tried it when I was younger but I hated every minute of the two weeks I had to go to that job but it could also have something to do with the fact that my co-workers made it very clear that they didn't want me there.
That can make a huge impact on a 21-year old.
That can make a huge impact on a 21-year old.
29 April 2007
One more month
I'm getting closer and closer to the end of this job and I have no idea if they are going to let me stay or not. In all honesty I don't think I would want to stay.
Only a few days before my birthday we were supposed to have this meeting and it turned out that my boss and a co-worker sat there critiqued me for a couple of hours. Some of it I can honestly say where legit but they wouldn't even let me defend myself when it came to the things I felt was wrong and things that were taken out of proportion...
That Friday I went home and I cried for 2½ days straight.
Only a few days before my birthday we were supposed to have this meeting and it turned out that my boss and a co-worker sat there critiqued me for a couple of hours. Some of it I can honestly say where legit but they wouldn't even let me defend myself when it came to the things I felt was wrong and things that were taken out of proportion...
That Friday I went home and I cried for 2½ days straight.
06 April 2007
Not the first time
It's not the first time he's like this. My husband always behave like this if things doesn't turn out the way he expected them to.
He expects everyone to know exactly what it is he wants without having to say it out loud. We've been to a counsellor to try to get him to explain to us all why he thinks it's okay to walk away from his responsibilities.
He is a person who only thinks about himself. We usually visit his dad every two weeks and from the time he wakes up in the morning until the time when I think we have to leave he is either at his computer or watching TV.. when I then tell him to get ready he tells me that he's going to the gym before we can leave.
It then takes an hour or so for him to even leave the house and the workout takes about 2 hours.. we usually leave the house around 4 pm and it's a 30 minute drive to his dad.He never helps out with everything that needs to be done in the house: cooking, dishes, laundry, take care of the children. Somehow he thinks that's my responsibility and if I tell him to actually help out a little he then starts acting like a two-year-old again! This is something that happens on a regular basis and it's driving me insane!
A few months ago my father called to tell me that he was coming over in a few days and I immediately started to clean the house that morning he was coming over. I saw that he picked up the trash but I never saw him come back inside..
I went out in the hallway to take a look and saw that he had taken his gym-bag with him and left for the gym leaving me to take care of the house, preparing for dinner and left me in charge of both kids 2 hours before my dad was supposed to get here. I tried calling him but he didn't answer so I called a friend of his and told him what was going on so this friend went over to the gym and told him to come home.
A few minutes later I got a text message from my husband telling me that he wasn't coming home until he was done working out! I simply sent him a message back that if he did that he could just come home to sign the divorce papers!He came home 30 minutes later and he was furious! Like I said.. this happens now and then and and in between these neanderthal behaviours of his he act more his age but he still has a problem with actually having to do things for someone but himself but I actually blame his mom for that.. and that's another long story but I'll just save that one for later..
He expects everyone to know exactly what it is he wants without having to say it out loud. We've been to a counsellor to try to get him to explain to us all why he thinks it's okay to walk away from his responsibilities.
He is a person who only thinks about himself. We usually visit his dad every two weeks and from the time he wakes up in the morning until the time when I think we have to leave he is either at his computer or watching TV.. when I then tell him to get ready he tells me that he's going to the gym before we can leave.
It then takes an hour or so for him to even leave the house and the workout takes about 2 hours.. we usually leave the house around 4 pm and it's a 30 minute drive to his dad.He never helps out with everything that needs to be done in the house: cooking, dishes, laundry, take care of the children. Somehow he thinks that's my responsibility and if I tell him to actually help out a little he then starts acting like a two-year-old again! This is something that happens on a regular basis and it's driving me insane!
A few months ago my father called to tell me that he was coming over in a few days and I immediately started to clean the house that morning he was coming over. I saw that he picked up the trash but I never saw him come back inside..
I went out in the hallway to take a look and saw that he had taken his gym-bag with him and left for the gym leaving me to take care of the house, preparing for dinner and left me in charge of both kids 2 hours before my dad was supposed to get here. I tried calling him but he didn't answer so I called a friend of his and told him what was going on so this friend went over to the gym and told him to come home.
A few minutes later I got a text message from my husband telling me that he wasn't coming home until he was done working out! I simply sent him a message back that if he did that he could just come home to sign the divorce papers!He came home 30 minutes later and he was furious! Like I said.. this happens now and then and and in between these neanderthal behaviours of his he act more his age but he still has a problem with actually having to do things for someone but himself but I actually blame his mom for that.. and that's another long story but I'll just save that one for later..
05 April 2007
Grumpy old men.
This is about my "wonderful" husband.
I grabbed a cup at his desk a few days ago and as always it was full of coffee so I basically drenched the mouse with coffee and it's now dead! Hubby not very happy about that but he got his old mouse out and he's now using it.
That morning he went for a 1½ hour walk and later he went to the gym for more than 2 hours while I had to bake cookies and two pies and take care of the kids, lunch and get everything ready for that evening when we where going to some friends for dinner.
When my husband gets grumpy he can stay like that for days and in the process the kids will be irritated and basically we're all snapping at each other for a week or so.
When he got home from the gym he expected that I would have had everything done by then but I still had to take a shower and so did Emma and I still had to get all of Emma's things ready before we had to go but there was no way he was going to help me get ready. He simply declared that he was not going to come with us, took off his shoes and sat down by his computer and started sulking like a two year old!
I finally managed to get everything in the car and the kids where ready to go but he refused to come with us. I simply lost it and told him that Sarah and I had been trying to find a weekend to get together and if it had not been for the fact that her husband wanted to see him I would go by myself. I told him to act his age and quit that childish behavior and get his shoes on and get in the car!A few minutes later while I was getting the kids in the car he got in himself but he didn't even look at me and it was completely quiet the whole drive over to our friends.
My mother-in-law called a few days ago to ask if we where going to be at home today and they are going to be here soon. I had to clean the entire house myself because my husband is still acting like an immature child and he's sitting either by his computer or in the livingroom - sulking!
I grabbed a cup at his desk a few days ago and as always it was full of coffee so I basically drenched the mouse with coffee and it's now dead! Hubby not very happy about that but he got his old mouse out and he's now using it.
That morning he went for a 1½ hour walk and later he went to the gym for more than 2 hours while I had to bake cookies and two pies and take care of the kids, lunch and get everything ready for that evening when we where going to some friends for dinner.
When my husband gets grumpy he can stay like that for days and in the process the kids will be irritated and basically we're all snapping at each other for a week or so.
When he got home from the gym he expected that I would have had everything done by then but I still had to take a shower and so did Emma and I still had to get all of Emma's things ready before we had to go but there was no way he was going to help me get ready. He simply declared that he was not going to come with us, took off his shoes and sat down by his computer and started sulking like a two year old!
I finally managed to get everything in the car and the kids where ready to go but he refused to come with us. I simply lost it and told him that Sarah and I had been trying to find a weekend to get together and if it had not been for the fact that her husband wanted to see him I would go by myself. I told him to act his age and quit that childish behavior and get his shoes on and get in the car!A few minutes later while I was getting the kids in the car he got in himself but he didn't even look at me and it was completely quiet the whole drive over to our friends.
My mother-in-law called a few days ago to ask if we where going to be at home today and they are going to be here soon. I had to clean the entire house myself because my husband is still acting like an immature child and he's sitting either by his computer or in the livingroom - sulking!
25 March 2007
and I'm 31
A year ago I went through the worst crisis ever! I had a hard time accepting that I was going to turn 30 but today I turn 31 and I'm fine with it now. :D
Say happy birthday! :-)
Say happy birthday! :-)
What does my birth date mean?
| Your Birthdate: March 25 |
 You excel at anything difficult or high tech. In other words, you're a total (brilliant) geek. It's difficult for you to find people worth spending time with. Which is probably why you'll take over the world with your evil robots! Your strength: Your unfailing logic Your weakness: Loving machines more than people Your power color: Tan Your power symbol: Pi Your power month: July |
01 March 2007
Eating disorder
I have an eating disorder called B.E.D. (Binge Eating Disorder) and it's like living with Bulimia but without throwing up after binging.
When I was 15 my (step)father died and without anyone to turn to for help and no one to talk to I turned to one thing: food, snacks, candy & ice cream. Eating these things were a pleasure and I felt good. Well.. I didnt feel that good after binging. ´
I've had these "attacks" where I tried to starve myself but I only ended up in another binging spree again. Ive gained a lot of weight over the years but I don´t blame anyone for my problem. I don´t blame my weight on my father death or on society.
In a way I'm glad I finally got a diagnosis on my problem because now I know why I behave the way I do and I know what´s wrong with me. When I go through a day when my cravings are really bad I can´t stop eating. If I don´t have anything in the house to eat I behave like a trapped lion, walking around restlessly and I´m very irritated.
I feel like an addict really when this is going on all I can think of is my next "fix".
This is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. The trick is to learn how to live with it without letting my disorder take control of my entire life. I´ve come a long way and it´s been weeks since my last "attack" and now that I´m finally free from my heelspur I can go for walks and my husband is really helping me out when it comes to staying on a diet and he´s bugging me all day to drink more water!
I have a long way to go but now I have a network of people around me who is there for me when I need someone to talk to and my husband is there for me to help me the days when I feel low and hopefully I will finally be free from this one day?
When I was 15 my (step)father died and without anyone to turn to for help and no one to talk to I turned to one thing: food, snacks, candy & ice cream. Eating these things were a pleasure and I felt good. Well.. I didnt feel that good after binging. ´
I've had these "attacks" where I tried to starve myself but I only ended up in another binging spree again. Ive gained a lot of weight over the years but I don´t blame anyone for my problem. I don´t blame my weight on my father death or on society.
In a way I'm glad I finally got a diagnosis on my problem because now I know why I behave the way I do and I know what´s wrong with me. When I go through a day when my cravings are really bad I can´t stop eating. If I don´t have anything in the house to eat I behave like a trapped lion, walking around restlessly and I´m very irritated.
I feel like an addict really when this is going on all I can think of is my next "fix".
This is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. The trick is to learn how to live with it without letting my disorder take control of my entire life. I´ve come a long way and it´s been weeks since my last "attack" and now that I´m finally free from my heelspur I can go for walks and my husband is really helping me out when it comes to staying on a diet and he´s bugging me all day to drink more water!
I have a long way to go but now I have a network of people around me who is there for me when I need someone to talk to and my husband is there for me to help me the days when I feel low and hopefully I will finally be free from this one day?
08 February 2007
Fast
It’s strange how things just work out. I’ve never really wanted to work at a daycare center but I applied for jobs like that anyway and I got a call back for an interview. I got there and I met the teachers working at this place and I stayed there for 1½ hours and I felt really good about it.
I have this thing about waiting for that phone call telling me if I got the job or not but it came and I got the job! It’s only until the end of May but it’s a job!!! And I start on Monday! :D
I have this thing about waiting for that phone call telling me if I got the job or not but it came and I got the job! It’s only until the end of May but it’s a job!!! And I start on Monday! :D
04 February 2007
My son
A lot has happend.
Last Saturday my son Erik started crying and it took a while to get him to tell us what was wrong - he had a headache. I thought it was strange that a 6-year old would have a headache like this so we called our hospital and talked to this nurse but she didn't think that he needed to see a doctor. Yesterday he woke up with an even worse headache and he spent most of yesterday in his room sleeping and once again we called someone but no.. no need to see a doctor and I was feeling very frustrated!
This morning when he woke up he felt fine so I sent him to school and I went to and interview for a job but when I was done my husband called to tell me that Erik was now at home with him - with a headache again. We couldn't turn on the lights because that made it worse and as soon as we even tried to talk to him in a normal voice he started crying because his head was hurting really bad and this time I wouldn't back down and we finally got an appointment to see a nurse. It took more than 2 hours for 3 different people to take a look at him and also there where a lot of tests done until we finally got to go home. At one point they thought it could be meningitis but thankfully they couldn't find any more of the symptoms for that but Erik is now on penicillin but no one still knows why he is having these headaches.
Last Saturday my son Erik started crying and it took a while to get him to tell us what was wrong - he had a headache. I thought it was strange that a 6-year old would have a headache like this so we called our hospital and talked to this nurse but she didn't think that he needed to see a doctor. Yesterday he woke up with an even worse headache and he spent most of yesterday in his room sleeping and once again we called someone but no.. no need to see a doctor and I was feeling very frustrated!
This morning when he woke up he felt fine so I sent him to school and I went to and interview for a job but when I was done my husband called to tell me that Erik was now at home with him - with a headache again. We couldn't turn on the lights because that made it worse and as soon as we even tried to talk to him in a normal voice he started crying because his head was hurting really bad and this time I wouldn't back down and we finally got an appointment to see a nurse. It took more than 2 hours for 3 different people to take a look at him and also there where a lot of tests done until we finally got to go home. At one point they thought it could be meningitis but thankfully they couldn't find any more of the symptoms for that but Erik is now on penicillin but no one still knows why he is having these headaches.
05 January 2007
A new year
and another new years resolution.. I wonder for how long I will be able to keep this one..
But anyway.. I told myself that it was time to start exercising and to eat right and to loose some weight.. I’m not comfortable enough at the moment to tell you my weight but I have lost 1.5 kilo since the first day of this year and I’ve been doing a lot of exercise!
What would life be without gorgeous men to look at while exercising? Since I have two small children there is no way that I’ll be able to go to the gym so I bought an Orbitrek for myself this past Christmas and I enjoy watching Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis and Farscape while sweating like you wouldn’t believe.. *S*
But anyway.. I told myself that it was time to start exercising and to eat right and to loose some weight.. I’m not comfortable enough at the moment to tell you my weight but I have lost 1.5 kilo since the first day of this year and I’ve been doing a lot of exercise!
What would life be without gorgeous men to look at while exercising? Since I have two small children there is no way that I’ll be able to go to the gym so I bought an Orbitrek for myself this past Christmas and I enjoy watching Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis and Farscape while sweating like you wouldn’t believe.. *S*
20 December 2006
It's been a while
I haven't been around that much lately.
About 2 months ago I got a job as a 5th grade teacher and I've loved every minute of my job. Unfortunally they had to let me go since there was another teacher that had been working longer than me and she needed a new class to work with so today was my last day of work.
I got home today after having said goodbye to my kids and I've been crying a lot because I truly loved my job and I loved this class that unfortunally have been labeled "difficult" but they are such a great group of kids.
I will forever remember these 18 children and they have changed me in more ways than they will ever know and I will never forget them.
About 2 months ago I got a job as a 5th grade teacher and I've loved every minute of my job. Unfortunally they had to let me go since there was another teacher that had been working longer than me and she needed a new class to work with so today was my last day of work.
I got home today after having said goodbye to my kids and I've been crying a lot because I truly loved my job and I loved this class that unfortunally have been labeled "difficult" but they are such a great group of kids.
I will forever remember these 18 children and they have changed me in more ways than they will ever know and I will never forget them.
05 December 2006
There is a secret
The secret of happiness is simple:
be loving, giving, caring.
Why, then, are so many unhappy?
Because they are afraid.
~proverb~
be loving, giving, caring.
Why, then, are so many unhappy?
Because they are afraid.
~proverb~
22 November 2006
Really disappointed
Only two people showed up today for my son's 6th birthday. I could tell he was really dissapointed.
Everytime he thought he heard a car he ran to the window to see if anyone had arrived but no one did. My heart was breaking over and over for my little boy who just wanted someone to show up on his birthday.
Everytime he thought he heard a car he ran to the window to see if anyone had arrived but no one did. My heart was breaking over and over for my little boy who just wanted someone to show up on his birthday.
03 November 2006
My baby girl
Isn't a baby anymore! Today is her second birthday!
Happy birthday my beautiful little girl! I love you so much!
Happy birthday my beautiful little girl! I love you so much!
16 October 2006
I got a job today!
It's only for 2 weeks but the teacher that usually have this class is burnt out and she is going to be at home for another 2 weeks and if she can't come back to work after that I'll get even more weeks and month to work at this school!
In a few hours I have to go to that school to my first parent - teacher meeting but thankfully I'm not the one that organized it!
In a few hours I have to go to that school to my first parent - teacher meeting but thankfully I'm not the one that organized it!
03 October 2006
It's been a long day.
My hands are shaking and I can hardly type.
It's been a long day. When I got to work this morning they asked if I could stay an hour longer and I thought I could make it through 3 hours. Then I was asked to stay until 2 - another 3 hours and I said okay.In the end I figured it was a good choice to work for 6 hours today because it kept me from thinking about my mom all the time.
I've had my cell phone with me hoping, praying that no one would call since I figured if anyone called before 6pm then there would be only bad news. At 5 pm my phone rang but it was a friend of mine. Then in the middle of that conversation someone else called but it was only my aunt. We talked for an hour and 5 minutes after I got off the phone with my aunt my stepfather called.
When I answered the phone I thought something bad had happend because his voice where so different but the surgery was a success and my mom is now awake and she's on analgesic. She is going to be out of intensive care by tomorrow and I'll see if it's possible to go and see her on Thursday.
I know she want to see the kids but I don't think it's time for that right now but I'll take them to see her next week.
I'm still shaking and I feel that I need to sit down and just break down into tears. I've forced myself to not cry but I definitly need to do that now.
It's been a long day. When I got to work this morning they asked if I could stay an hour longer and I thought I could make it through 3 hours. Then I was asked to stay until 2 - another 3 hours and I said okay.In the end I figured it was a good choice to work for 6 hours today because it kept me from thinking about my mom all the time.
I've had my cell phone with me hoping, praying that no one would call since I figured if anyone called before 6pm then there would be only bad news. At 5 pm my phone rang but it was a friend of mine. Then in the middle of that conversation someone else called but it was only my aunt. We talked for an hour and 5 minutes after I got off the phone with my aunt my stepfather called.
When I answered the phone I thought something bad had happend because his voice where so different but the surgery was a success and my mom is now awake and she's on analgesic. She is going to be out of intensive care by tomorrow and I'll see if it's possible to go and see her on Thursday.
I know she want to see the kids but I don't think it's time for that right now but I'll take them to see her next week.
I'm still shaking and I feel that I need to sit down and just break down into tears. I've forced myself to not cry but I definitly need to do that now.
27 September 2006
I've had a great day! :D
I had a home economics class today and it happend to be the same class that I worked with last week and they all came running up to me and they first said that they where so happy to see me and then they asked was that if I could be the teacher to fill in when their ordinary teacher had to go to the hospital for surgery. I simply told them that it was not up to me to decide on which teacher they would get but if I was asked to work with them I'd love to work with this class for two weeks.
Five minutes later their teacher showed up and asked if I was doing something during week 46 & 47 because she needed someone to fill in for her and she had told her boss that she wanted me and no one else - ME! :)
And the best thing is that she is going to leave all the planning of the classes to me and everything and I feel so good about this!
Five minutes later their teacher showed up and asked if I was doing something during week 46 & 47 because she needed someone to fill in for her and she had told her boss that she wanted me and no one else - ME! :)
And the best thing is that she is going to leave all the planning of the classes to me and everything and I feel so good about this!
14 September 2006
My very first time
Today was the very first time I worked as a teacher in high school and it went great!
The only thing I didn't like was that I didn't have any time to prepare for class so I didn't know what they where working on and how the teacher usually works but I'm now at home preparing for the next two classes of the day. One test (no preparation for me) and then I have physics (had biologi this morning) and now I've prepared a little something to demonstrate sound!
I have 4 classes tomorrow too but one is a test and the second on is a math class but all they have to do then is to go over the misstakes they did the day before (that's the test I'm going to give them today) and work on what they did wrong. And I also have two more classes in physics.
The only thing I didn't like was that I didn't have any time to prepare for class so I didn't know what they where working on and how the teacher usually works but I'm now at home preparing for the next two classes of the day. One test (no preparation for me) and then I have physics (had biologi this morning) and now I've prepared a little something to demonstrate sound!
I have 4 classes tomorrow too but one is a test and the second on is a math class but all they have to do then is to go over the misstakes they did the day before (that's the test I'm going to give them today) and work on what they did wrong. And I also have two more classes in physics.
Changes
Should I be nervous about teaching at a high school today? Definitely yes! :D
I got my degree in teaching children from when they start preschool at the age of one until they finish sixth grade but I’ve never worked with teens in high school before but thankfully their teacher has organized everything for me so all I have to do is to show up and give them their assignments. It can’t be that bad – hopefully! :D
Both of my children started preschool/school at different places than befors and my son is now in kindergarten and he loves it! He has grown so much in the last couple of weeks. He has a lot of old friends from preschool with him but I’ve seen a lot of changes in which kids he is playing with. I never had any problems with dropping him off at his preschool but the first time I dropped my son of at kindergarten I stayed and watch him walk over to the school and it hit me – my son is really growing up a lot faster than I ever could imagine. I felt like a proud mom while watching my boy walk away to meet his friends. I also felt a little bit sad as well because soon enough he will not need me to be there all the time for him. The change is coming and change is a good thing… most of the time. :)
My daughter has been moved to a new preschool this semester. So instead of a ten minute drive to her preschool I now have a ten minute walk to drop her off. At her last preschool she was very shy and she didn’t do much more than to sit in a corner reading a book or walking around. I always felt the old preschool was better with a better playground outside for the children but then she moved. At this new preschool she already know two of her teachers since they where also her brothers teachers for three years. There has been a dramatic change in her and she is so much more active at this new place. I didn’t really expect that – I can’t actually say why that is but she seems to be a lot happier now.
I got my degree in teaching children from when they start preschool at the age of one until they finish sixth grade but I’ve never worked with teens in high school before but thankfully their teacher has organized everything for me so all I have to do is to show up and give them their assignments. It can’t be that bad – hopefully! :D
Both of my children started preschool/school at different places than befors and my son is now in kindergarten and he loves it! He has grown so much in the last couple of weeks. He has a lot of old friends from preschool with him but I’ve seen a lot of changes in which kids he is playing with. I never had any problems with dropping him off at his preschool but the first time I dropped my son of at kindergarten I stayed and watch him walk over to the school and it hit me – my son is really growing up a lot faster than I ever could imagine. I felt like a proud mom while watching my boy walk away to meet his friends. I also felt a little bit sad as well because soon enough he will not need me to be there all the time for him. The change is coming and change is a good thing… most of the time. :)
My daughter has been moved to a new preschool this semester. So instead of a ten minute drive to her preschool I now have a ten minute walk to drop her off. At her last preschool she was very shy and she didn’t do much more than to sit in a corner reading a book or walking around. I always felt the old preschool was better with a better playground outside for the children but then she moved. At this new preschool she already know two of her teachers since they where also her brothers teachers for three years. There has been a dramatic change in her and she is so much more active at this new place. I didn’t really expect that – I can’t actually say why that is but she seems to be a lot happier now.
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