I'm not obsessed. I promise!

My mom and my sister have both been bugging me to do some work on two websites and they had every right to do so. I was supposed to do this a long time ago but I'd always forgotten to do what I promised to do.

The problem is that I have everything I need but not all in one computer. I've got different programs in either computer and photos in three (some in my husband's computer too). I've got e-mail with instructions on one computer and my ftp-program on the other... you get the drift.

To make a long story short - no one has been able to sit down and eat at our kitchen table and all parents out there cover your eyes now because I'm going to tell everyone that we've been sitting infront of the TV in the livingroom to eat today! :D I know. I'm a terrible mom!

It took me almost 10 hours to get most of the work done today and this is me signing off. *bye*

*goodnight*

and yes.. both computers are mine.. *still trying to convince everyone out there I'm not obsessed* ;)

What is going on?

Since I started working at my last job I went to approximately 12-15 interviews for different jobs. And throughout all these 7 months I've been turned down for every one of them.

There was this job that I actually thought that I would get but in the end it turned out that they chose someone else and I was surprised when the same principal called a weeks later asking me to come in and talk to her about another job.

The thing is that I’ve applied for every job available in my area but I’m also figured out that I’ve been blacklisted because I stood up for my child’s rights and my former boss wasn’t to keen on that. This is the reason to why I was utterly floored the other day when I was offered a job only 12 kilometers from where I live and I accepted!

I started my new job this past Wednesday and yesterday everyone working in pre-school went to this amazing lecture! All of the principals were there too.

Today as I was getting ready to go home I noticed that a principal in my area had called but I couldn’t figure out which one. My boss have a number that ends with 25, my former boss – 26 and this number ended with 27. I had to look it up as soon as I got home and I saw that it was a boss that I had sent my CV too but this was a long time ago. I tried to call her back but she wasn’t available.

A few hours she did call back and she wants me to come in for this interview on Tuesday and the strange part is that she saw me yesterday when we were all at this lecture and she knew that I’m working in the general area and she knows that I’m substituting for 3-4 months but she wants to see me any way. This job that I’m interviewing for is a full time job and it’s a permanent job on top of that!

Life, stuff and more.

Tomorrow is my last day of work at my old work-place and on Wednesday I'll start my new job. I'm both looking forward to starting this new job but I'm going to miss the kids a lot. I actually started crying the other day while I was saying goodbye to a little girl. I can't belive I've had that job for 7 months and now I'm leaving for a new preschool.

I'm not sure if I have written anything about how things are between my husband and myself. For a very long time we've been co-existing within the same space but we haven't even talked to each other or anything. A few days ago I simply lost my temper and told him if my husband wanted a divorce and a way out of this I could simply just print out the documents needed for a divorce and we'd be done. After that things have been a litte better and we can now even spend time in the same room. I'm still not sure of what I want to do.

And I turned 32 the other day. Yeehaa. Well.. almost. :) My kids gave me two cookbooks because they now that cookbooks are a real obsession of mine. Erik gave me one called "Barbeque" and Emma gave me "deserts". I just love my kids! :)

Twinkle twinkle little star

What can I say? It’s like living on a never ending rollercoaster ride! Thank goodness there is some good news that comes with that. I managed to call my unemployment office while coughing like mad. I don’t have to take that job that I interviewed for last week! And knowing that has made my life so much easier – I can’t tell you!

There is still a lot going on at work and the only way I see out of that problem is to quit. I’d like to do that but as long as I don’t have another job I’m going to have to stick with what I’ve got at the moment. Not exactly what I’ve dreamt of but what can I do?

There are more good news! To me it feels like yesterday but 9 years ago I started the long and tedious job of filling out a ton of paperwork only to go to the States to work as an au-pair. In November I saw this agency looking for people to perform interviews for this kind of work and I applied but I didn’t think much more of it until they actually called me back last week and offered me the job! And today I got my first call-sheet and I am going to call this girl tomorrow and book an interview with her. If this goes well I will also get applicants for high school to interview. I know this is just a part-time job but it will be a much appreciated addition to our vacation- or Christmas fund.

Oh and I talked to Aaron the other day! I still can’t believe I found this friend of mine! I thought I would never get to talk to him again but somehow he is back in my life and I could not be happier! 

Longing for Christmas

A couple of months ago we decided to transform the junkroom in our basement into a bedroom for our son and in the process of moving everything from one room to the other all of my christmas decorations got lost and I can't find them. I've had these love/hate feelings when it comes to this particular holiday but this year I wanted to decorate the house and get a tree - only to discover that I couldn't even find anything to decorate with but I managed to buy a few things and the house is now decorated - not in a traditional swedish christmas decorated theme but my own version of a cozy christmas.

And as of today I'm unemployed again. The strange thing is even though I had a hard time saying goodbye to the kids I feel I need to take some time off to get back on track once more. There is a reason for why no new entries have been made but I can't talk about them since there is an investigation going on concerning things that has happend at my job. All I can say is that I am not involved myself. Well I kind of am but only as a witness and the fact that I had to write a statement about a cople of things.

I can't say that I'm looking forward going through the process of getting a new job again but I try to tell myself that there is a meaning to why things happen. Like this thing at work - there was a reason to why I got this job and not any of the other 3 that I could have gotten 3-4 months ago and there is someone/a workplace out there who needs me and fate will lead me to that special place.

Not again.

So this was supposed to be my day off since I had this interview to go to but on my way there I got a call from a co-worker asking me to come in to work afterwards anyway and I could tell something had happend so I told her I'd be there as soon as I could.

So this interview went well - or so I thought. I got to work and my two co-workers came running and gave me this hug and later I found out why they had to get rid of this new temp.

So I stayed and kept on working. Later in the afternoon I got a call and I was told for the third time in three weeks that I didn't get the job and if anyone ever tells me one more time that "I was the kind of person that they where looking for" "they really liked me" "I had the right attitude towards the job and the children but.." I'm going to scream!

And boy. Don't ever tell me again that "I am sure you'll get a job really soon" because I can tell you something. It would feel a lot better if they just slapped me across the face instead. I'm so sick of this.

I just fell like taking out a large tub of ice-cream and binge while crying in front of the TV.

Big brother is watching.

It is interesting to see that people think they can write anything online and that they don't understand that everything they do may have consequences. Just take this woman that we called in last week to fill in where I work at the moment. At one point she and I started talking about the Internet and forums for parents and such. She suddenly mentions this particular forum that I am also a member at so I thought that I should just see if I can find her on that forum. It took me about a minute or two to find her. Now here’s the problem.

In posts in the forum I can find different statements about her child’s preschool. It’s not the one I work at but I know people who work there and this young woman is quite verbal and in some posts she is really annoyed with her child’s teachers, and when I started to read her own presentation amongst other things she states that she has been arrested. Now I know that she has never been convicted of anything because if you are going to work in childcare or at a school in this country you have to produce a document from the police saying that you are not convicted of a fellony and she had this document. But just reading that she has been arrested and the fact that she does speak a lot about co-workers of mine and on top of it all: she uses her own name and her child’s name in her presentation so anyone who knows her or has any idea of where she lives can easily find out which person she is talking about.

And then another thing – the facebook hype has hit this country too! I found a long lost friend in there. It turned out that he had registered only a week before me and then as soon as I became a member I started looking up old friends and I found this guy! I’ve been looking for him for a while but now he’s found. :D The other thing is that I’m not to crazy about finding out things about people only because I happen to take a quick glance at their presentation. Just today I found out that my father has apparently broken up with his girlfriend. I don’t expect him to give me a call or anything but just send me a message so I don’t say something I shouldn’t the next time I talk to him.

That’s all from me today.

Goodnight

Third Time's the Charm?

I’m getting really sick of this! One rejection after another! So this time they actually sent me an e-mail instead of calling me telling me that I didn’t get the job. That was the second job interview in a short period of time. They say third time’s the charm but I don’t know.

All I know right now is that I have a job to go to this week and the next two weeks but after that I have no idea of what I'll be doing. I don’t want to go back to work as an "emergency temp" again when I get a phone call in the morning and I can end up working anywhere that day and then I just have to go home and wait for the next phone call.

I feel so confused.

It may turn out to that I don’t even have a problem but let’s just play the devil’s advocate for a moment. I wrote about a job interview a few days ago. At the moment I’m filling in for someone at a daycare-center and here is my problem.

What if I get this job that I’ve applied for? And what if this daycare-center asks me to stay a while longer?

The first job is at an office. Full time, permanent basis. There will be no scheduling-problems between that job and my children’s daycare and it sounds really interesting! On the other hand – I do have a degree in teaching and that is what I want to do but not at a daycare-center but if I manage to fill in for 2 years I will automatically have a permanent job as a teacher somewhere.

Right now I feel desperate enough to take any job that is offered to me.

Lit up like a Christmas-tree

If there is something that is causing a lot of stress in my life then it definitely is being without a job. Every day I search the Internet to see if there might be a new job out there for me to apply to but they are scares – to say the least.

So today when I got back inside from being out with the children all day at work I saw that all of the icons on my phone had lit up like a Christmas tree: there was a message from my husband, 2 missed calls and one message on my answering-service.

To make a very long story a lot shorter I could just sum up the whole thing with one sentence: I’ve got another job-interview tomorrow morning and this time if I get the job I might be able to practice my English on an everyday basis! This girl could not be happier!

I felt popular today.

My phone rang a few minutes to eight this morning and a school needed me to fill in for a teacher so I took the job and left my house. Within the hour I had received yet another phone call but from the same place that I worked at last week but unfortunately I couldn’t work today but agreed to work there the rest of the week. Before I left today’s job two more schools had called and asked me to fill in for different teachers.

Something that really bugs me though is the fact that it seems to be impossible to get a job in my county if you live here because all of the teachers hired in the past 2 years have been from another city. Maybe I’ll just have to move there and then move back once I finally get a job here? I do get to work a lot but not here - I have to travel 20 minutes to a nearby city and I seem to be in demand over there.

I can’t say that I like my situation as it is. I like to know what’s going to happen the next day but now all I do is to sit at home and wait for the phone to call to see if I can get a days work somewhere. I’ve got a degree in teaching, I’ve done my 3½ years of college but it seems to be impossible to get a job that lasts for more than a day or two.

Strange

It's strange how things work out sometimes.

I went to this jobinterview last Monday and on Tuesday they called to say I didn't get the job. I have to admit that there was something about this job that made me think twice about it but at the same time I was sad that I didn't get a full-time job.

Then Wednesday morning the phone rang. The same person who was interviewing me along with two others called and asked if I wanted to work at another place for three days and I was more than happy to.

Yesterday only a few hours before my last shift was over they asked if they could call me again if they needed help and of course they can and another thing. I now know more about that job I applied for and now I'm really happy that I didn't get that job. I'm not going to say anything other than that but belive me when I say that for the first time I'm relieved that I didn't get a job.

The last day

Today was the last day I worked at this place. What I'm going to miss are the children and also knowing that I have a job to go to in the morning.

My kids and I are going to have the whole summer to ourselves.

About this job

I've come to learn realize that I do enjoy working with children of this age. I tried it when I was younger but I hated every minute of the two weeks I had to go to that job but it could also have something to do with the fact that my co-workers made it very clear that they didn't want me there.

That can make a huge impact on a 21-year old.

One more month

I'm getting closer and closer to the end of this job and I have no idea if they are going to let me stay or not. In all honesty I don't think I would want to stay.

Only a few days before my birthday we were supposed to have this meeting and it turned out that my boss and a co-worker sat there critiqued me for a couple of hours. Some of it I can honestly say where legit but they wouldn't even let me defend myself when it came to the things I felt was wrong and things that were taken out of proportion...

That Friday I went home and I cried for 2½ days straight.

Fast

It’s strange how things just work out. I’ve never really wanted to work at a daycare center but I applied for jobs like that anyway and I got a call back for an interview. I got there and I met the teachers working at this place and I stayed there for 1½ hours and I felt really good about it.

I have this thing about waiting for that phone call telling me if I got the job or not but it came and I got the job! It’s only until the end of May but it’s a job!!! And I start on Monday! :D

It's been a while

I haven't been around that much lately.

About 2 months ago I got a job as a 5th grade teacher and I've loved every minute of my job. Unfortunally they had to let me go since there was another teacher that had been working longer than me and she needed a new class to work with so today was my last day of work.

I got home today after having said goodbye to my kids and I've been crying a lot because I truly loved my job and I loved this class that unfortunally have been labeled "difficult" but they are such a great group of kids.

I will forever remember these 18 children and they have changed me in more ways than they will ever know and I will never forget them.

I got a job today!

It's only for 2 weeks but the teacher that usually have this class is burnt out and she is going to be at home for another 2 weeks and if she can't come back to work after that I'll get even more weeks and month to work at this school!

In a few hours I have to go to that school to my first parent - teacher meeting but thankfully I'm not the one that organized it!

It's been a long day.

My hands are shaking and I can hardly type.

It's been a long day. When I got to work this morning they asked if I could stay an hour longer and I thought I could make it through 3 hours. Then I was asked to stay until 2 - another 3 hours and I said okay.In the end I figured it was a good choice to work for 6 hours today because it kept me from thinking about my mom all the time.

I've had my cell phone with me hoping, praying that no one would call since I figured if anyone called before 6pm then there would be only bad news. At 5 pm my phone rang but it was a friend of mine. Then in the middle of that conversation someone else called but it was only my aunt. We talked for an hour and 5 minutes after I got off the phone with my aunt my stepfather called.

When I answered the phone I thought something bad had happend because his voice where so different but the surgery was a success and my mom is now awake and she's on analgesic. She is going to be out of intensive care by tomorrow and I'll see if it's possible to go and see her on Thursday.

I know she want to see the kids but I don't think it's time for that right now but I'll take them to see her next week.

I'm still shaking and I feel that I need to sit down and just break down into tears. I've forced myself to not cry but I definitly need to do that now.

I've had a great day! :D

I had a home economics class today and it happend to be the same class that I worked with last week and they all came running up to me and they first said that they where so happy to see me and then they asked was that if I could be the teacher to fill in when their ordinary teacher had to go to the hospital for surgery. I simply told them that it was not up to me to decide on which teacher they would get but if I was asked to work with them I'd love to work with this class for two weeks.

Five minutes later their teacher showed up and asked if I was doing something during week 46 & 47 because she needed someone to fill in for her and she had told her boss that she wanted me and no one else - ME! :)

And the best thing is that she is going to leave all the planning of the classes to me and everything and I feel so good about this!